The Depression Paradox

My nights are always lonely, as I feel the need to fill the void, but no one is there to hold me.

My mind race in sorts, troubled by regrets; procrastination; and now formulating my inadequacies to resemble torts.

Life has a cruel idea of presenting an environment where our minds feel as though we haven’t achieved enough.

If only the race could be ran by attempting to live a self-fulfilling life. However, the religions of the world and wise men would speak differently.

Sacrifice is what the world wants, it’s what God and the gods want. Without it our lives are pointless.

Now after years of watching my life fly by, comparing my materialistic gains, or the lack there of, to others who have grasp theirs… its exasperating.

Exasperating, as I wait peacefully for a relationship, that may never cross my path established by a proclamation of fate.

Will I ever be good enough…

For the parents who put me through school?

To the friends who expected my calls or the ones who forgot me in my loneliness?

Or the jobs who thoroughly scan my resumes in search for the desired degree, to identify the stamp of approval by this educated society.

My hopeless, tiny, burning fire growing ever so dim.

Trapped in the claws of loneliness, inadequacy, imperfection, perfectionism, religion, lack of religion; thine own enemy! Myself.

The burdens now burn brightly, it was foolish of me to think that it wouldn’t exceed my limits.

Now that I am lonely, having pushed people away, tricked by words that promise sincerity in friendship, fooled by the love this world longs for.

Now I have realized, those burdens… as they have broken my back, crushed my lungs and now I am grasping through straws to suck in…

Reality; the fact that I am not the only one feeling this depressing pain.

“Waitress, bring the check.” The reality check.

My world feels to be crumbling, the depression seeping into bone marrow and leaking through tear ducts.

However!

My humanity does not contain the weight of the world. Therefore, as I strain to look at the masterpiece before me.

Selfishness covers my eyes, turning my 20/20 to a case of shortsightedness.

When will I realize the simple truth. That sacrifice trumps self-denial, which I deny myself.

My world is not the only one crumbling.

I will lay out my hands in weeping sacrifice, to help piece the crumbling worlds of those depressed around me.

Because with all the religions and gods, one thing is clear, someone out there cares.

Therefore, through pain and tears, I will remove my focus from a self-fulling life, and commit to a sacrifice.

To help piece together the crumbling worlds around me, as my God instructs of me; through words beyond my comprehension.

And I hope you listen to your God, or gods, or the universe, and break free from your depression, to help the person who is barely existing.

Whose burdens are also too much for themselves to bare, who are trapped in their lonely realms with depression crumbling their worlds above their heads.

Let us not allow depression to conquer the minds of our youth. Let us stand for a world where we bare each-other’s crushing burdens. Too.

4 thoughts on “The Depression Paradox

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