What I learned in 2019

Honestly, right now I wished I had a cup of coffee to sip from. I don’t know whether to put my “inner inner” thoughts in quotation marks or to just let it all flow, like water from a fountain.

“Dun, dun, dun,” for dramatic sound effect. Last year was one heck of a year. I am unsure whether I should curl up in a ball and cry, or be excited that the year is done. “I could probably do both, but I don’t want too many people to know that I cry…” the awkward silence may commence.

For most of 2019, it has been filled with memes, tear-jerking movies, impeachments, social ills, and the list could continue to stretch the circumference of the entire earth. However, in this blog post, I will not be talking about the world. Neither is the purpose to strip myself bare, sharing my complete vulnerability or my burdens of the struggles ensued during the past decade.

Que the music, “Queen – We Are The Champions!” “We are the champions, my friends.”

I desire to share the most important lesson I learned in the year 2019. However, I am honestly a latent learner, and this lesson has been on repeat several times in the decade of the 2010s. What is that lesson you might ask; “for those of you who are not completely bored and actually engaged.”

Contentment is the Lesson

Contentment is the Lesson. Contentment is the Lesson. Contentment is the Lesson!

I know I sound like a broken record, but contentment is the lesson! Besides, we all know the record is broken because we loved it so much, we constantly replayed it on the phonograph. “Don’t worry, I had to google the word, ‘phonograph’ too.”

So, how was contentment the lesson for me?

For years I have been unsatisfied with my life, circumstances, native home, and hundreds of other little peeves. Thinking to myself that I did not have the perfect social status, a stable bank account, a close relationship with my family, or the ambition to push myself further.

This led me to spiral into depression. Leading to a plethora of other struggles such as procrastination, becoming pessimistic, being doubtful, and sabotaging my own future.

I became my own version of ‘a shell of a man.’ Not investing my spare time wisely, but secluding myself in my room. At this point, living became plainly existing. I would watch countless hours of television, listen endlessly to music, and wallow in self-pity.

Last year, I got fired for the first time in my life, something I thought was unimaginable. Moreover, I pitied myself for losing my opportunity at University two years prior, wasting my parents’ money and not being where I imagined I would be in life. Some days, I just wanted to sulk in my self-loathing mind.

However, through all the mountains and valleys that I had experienced, I received a glimmer of hope. I received the opportunity to voyage the seas with my dad. Making trips between Florida and the Bahamas. This bestowed upon me hours of self-reflection time on the beautiful and unpredictable ocean.

The period of self-reflection encouraged me to understand how small and insignificant I was in comparison to the vastness of the ocean. I began to view the bigger picture, as I typically looked at the world from my viewpoint solely. During my voyages, I searched up the power of waves and fear began to fester within me.

Gradually, the thin line between life and death became more apparent. The realization that living fearfully and full of regret was not solving anything within my life, enlightened my conscious self to view time differently. This enlightenment created an opportunity for me to become content with myself, who I am, and what I am doing with my life.

It taught me that I need to face challenges head-on, and once I am on the ocean [of life] there is no turning back. We all have different times that we are born, and it will be the same when it is time to die. Being grateful for our life should overshadow living unsatisfied with one’s life.

Our aim should be to achieve inner peace within ourselves, that results from being content. It releases the overbearing burden of living to satisfy others.

However, I am not encouraging us to live selfishly, albeit our goals should not be solely based on meeting others’ expectations for us to feel valued. Life should not be about conforming, however, to transform daily to improve on our self-development journey.

To clear misunderstandings, being content does not equate to giving up entirely. Living in contentment should be immersing ourselves in with a positive attitude while aspiring to be the best version of ourselves. To live comfortably with oneself and to grow in self-love.

My contentment is defined as not living to run the race of peer pressure, societal norms, or unrealistic expectations. It is to run my own race, satisfied with my pace, and passionately living to surpass my own limits.

Contentment, was my lesson last year. I am okay with being average, different, me.

I may work a minimal wage job, but that does not define me.

I may get depress and anxious, but that does not define me.

I may regret my past, but that does not define me.

I may be afraid of the moment, but that does not define me.

I may feel inadequate, but that does not define me.

I will persevere and grow and that will define me.

What lesson did you learn in 2019, share in the comments below.

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3 thoughts on “What I learned in 2019

  1. Biggest lesson for me was to stop being my own worst enemy.

    I’ve spent so much time telling myself negative thoughts and talking down my achievements it impacts my ability to achieve.

    End of 2019 start of 2020 working in more positive self talk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Recently, I had the opportunity to start work on my own negative self talk, as well.

      I learned the importance of speaking positively, even if my first thoughts are negative.

      I hope in 2020 you overcome the negative self talk and achieve great things!

      Liked by 1 person

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